Making Decisions from Safety, Not Survival: How Dysregulation Skews Your Choices
Have you ever said yes to something and immediately regretted it?
Or ghosted someone when you really didn’t intend to end the connection?
Or maybe taken a job, launched a project, made a move — only to realize it wasn’t what you truly wanted?
You might have unconsciously made the decision from a stress response, not a felt sense of internal safety.
What Are Dysregulated Decisions?
When your nervous system is dysregulated, your ability to make decisions goes offline. You’re no longer choosing from a grounded, connected place. You’re reacting from:
Fight (prove yourself, overcommit, hustle)
Flight (run, avoid, people-please)
Freeze (shut down, dissociate, go numb)
Fawn (say yes when you mean no)
These responses are designed to keep you safe — but they often lead to choices that don’t truly align with your needs, desires, or truth.
Common Signs of a Dysregulated Decision
You felt urgency or panic to decide
You made the choice to avoid discomfort or conflict
You didn’t feel fully present when choosing
Your body felt tense, tight, or shut down
You regret it almost instantly (or feel shame without knowing why)
If any of this resonates, know: this doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body was trying to keep you safe the only way it knew how.
Regulated Decisions Feel Different
When your nervous system is regulated, you can access:
Clearer thinking
Emotional awareness
A felt sense of yes/no in your body
Trust in your own timing
From this place, you choose based on truth, not fear.
How to Create Safety Before Making a Big Decision
You don’t have to be perfectly calm to make good choices. But before deciding, try:
Taking a few grounding breaths or walking outside
Journaling: "What is my body feeling right now? What am I afraid might happen?"
Sleeping on it before replying or committing
Checking if your decision is based on a future fear or a present truth
These small pauses can rewire everything.
How Integrative Therapy Can Help You Reconnect With Your Inner Compass
In my integrative therapy practice, I help women reconnect with their body’s wisdom through:
Somatic therapy to work with stress responses physiologically so the body can begin to discharge stress and return to a sense of safety
Safe and Sound Protocol to support vagus nerve function and promote calm and emotional clarity
EMDR to reprocess early memories that shaped your decision-making patterns
When your body feels safe, your choices align.
Work With Me
I offer online holistic therapy for women across California, including Santa Cruz, Carmel Valley, San Luis Obispo, Marin County, and San Diego.
If you’re ready to stop making fear-based decisions and start trusting yourself again — schedule a consultation today.
Disclaimer: This blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or therapeutic advice. Reading this post does not establish a therapist-client relationship. If you are seeking clinical support, please visit somaticspiritualtherapist.com for more information about therapy services available to California residents.