Why It’s Hard to Trust Your Intuition (Until Your Nervous System Feels Safe)
Have you ever felt torn between what your gut is saying and what your anxiety is screaming?
For many highly sensitive women, what we think is intuition is often just hypervigilance — a leftover survival strategy from past overwhelm, trauma, or simply living in a world that taught us not to trust ourselves.
Let’s break it down.
Intuition vs. Fear: How Can You Tell the Difference?
Intuition is quiet, clear, and direct. Fear is loud, looping, and urgent.
But when your nervous system isn’t regulated, it becomes nearly impossible to tell the difference between the two. That’s because a dysregulated nervous system constantly scans for danger — even when you’re safe — and labels anything unfamiliar or vulnerable as a threat.
Especially for creative and intuitive women, this can look like:
Feeling paralyzed when making decisions
Constantly second-guessing yourself
Wanting to “trust your gut” but never being sure if it’s fear or truth
Avoiding opportunities because they feel too big, too risky, too uncertain
Hypervigilance Isn’t Intuition — It’s a Trauma Response
Hypervigilance is when your body is always on alert. It’s not spiritual insight. It’s survival mode.
You may feel like you’re being intuitive — sensing people’s moods, reading between the lines, predicting what could go wrong — but often, that’s just your nervous system trying to keep you safe by staying three steps ahead of perceived threat.
Here’s the kicker: many sensitive women were praised for this growing up. You might have had to scan your caregiver’s moods to predict what might happen. You might have been the unofficial family therapist — becoming a caregiver for everyone else.
Many highly sensitive women became hypervigilant in childhood out of necessity. But now in adulthood, this sensitivity can become a challenge when you can’t relax. Or when you continue to internalize everyone else’s experience as your responsibility to fix.
You can’t trust the moment. And you can’t hear the real voice of your own intuition.
The Key Is Toning the Nervous System for Safety
If your body is stuck in fight, flight, or freeze, your intuition will always sound like fear.
To access your true intuitive voice — the one that helps you make bold, aligned choices — you need to first create physiological safety.
That’s where our work comes in.
In my practice, we use somatic therapy and tools like EMDR and the Safe and Sound Protocol to rewire the nervous system and gently shift your baseline from survival to resilience.
As you build capacity in your body to feel grounded, your intuition becomes easier to access — and you stop mistaking your triggers for truth.
Healing Isn’t About Getting Better at Reading People — It’s About Coming Home to Yourself
When your nervous system is regulated, you no longer need to scan every room. You no longer fear the unknown. And you stop outsourcing your intuition to others.
You can still sense and perceive what someone else is going through — but it no longer feels like a reflection of you.
This is the heart of my work: helping women like you feel safe enough to trust themselves again — not from the neck up, but from the inside out.
Ready to Tune In to What’s True for You?
If you’re done feeling stuck in doubt and ready to feel deeply rooted in your body’s wisdom, I’d love to support you.
Learn more about how we can work together to deepen your sense of safety and self-trust.
Disclaimer: This blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or mental health advice. Always consult a licensed provider for individualized care. Ashley K. Whelan is a holistic psychotherapist in California offering EMDR, somatic therapy, and psychedelic integration for women seeking mind-body-spirit healing.
