The Impact of Rejection on the Nervous System
Rejection hurts—but when you’ve internalized it over time, it does more than hurt your feelings. It can deeply affect the responses of your nervous system.
Whether you were bullied in middle school, dismissed by emotionally unavailable partners, or simply told you were "too much" or "too sensitive," those moments of disconnection add up.
And your body remembers them.
What Happens in the Body
When rejection becomes a pattern, your nervous system starts to anticipate pain before it even happens.
According to Polyvagal Theory (a framework I’ve studied extensively), your system is always scanning for cues of safety or threat. Rejection — or even the possibility of it — can activate your sympathetic fight/flight or send you into a dorsal freeze, where everything feels foggy, shut down, or numb.
This creates a kind of chronic dysregulation. You’re not overreacting — you’re responding to a lifetime of nervous system data that says: connection isn’t safe.
Rejection Sensitivity vs. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
Many women — especially those with ADHD symptoms or a history of trauma — struggle with rejection sensitivity, where even mild criticism feels like a deep emotional wound.
Some experience something more intense, called Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), which can involve emotional outbursts, panic, or shame spirals triggered by perceived rejection.
And then there’s just being human. Rejection hurts, even if your nervous system isn’t highly sensitive.
The key is understanding how your system responds — and building tools to feel safe enough to stay connected to yourself.
Healing the Wound of Rejection
You don’t have to live in chronic anticipation of being dismissed.
In my work with women across California, I integrate:
EMDR to reprocess memories where rejection got wired into your nervous system
EFT Tapping to soothe the emotional charge when sensitivity is heightened
Safe and Sound Protocol to create a felt sense of safety and retrain the nervous system for connection
Psychedelic or Psycholytic Therapy to break out of rigid thought patterns around perceived rejection.
Somatic awareness practices to help your body unlearn the habit of bracing for rejection
This is gentle, evidence-informed work that honors how deeply these patterns run—while helping you experience something different.
You Deserve to Feel Safe in Connection
You’re not too sensitive.
You’re not too much.
You’re just carrying a story your body never got to rewrite.
Let’s change that.
I offer online holistic therapy for women across California, including San Diego, Monterey, Carmel Valley, San Luis Obispo, and beyond.
Click here to learn more about how we can work together.
Disclaimer: This blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or therapeutic advice. Reading this post does not establish a therapist-client relationship. If you are seeking clinical support, please visit somaticspiritualtherapist.com for more information about therapy services available to California residents.
