Why I Don’t Love ChatGPT as a Therapist — And You Shouldn’t Either

ChatGPT was built to please you, whereas your therapist was trained to challenge you.

This difference matters more than people realize.

And listen.. I’ve been on the AI bandwagon since the beginning.

As a business owner, AI has helped me in incredible ways.

It helps me organize ideas, streamline writing and move faster.

In fact, it’s helped me complete and refine many of my blog posts. I wouldn’t be able to publish consistently — sometimes multiple posts a week — without it.

AI is a powerful tool, but therapy is not a tool. It is an experience.

And AI is not a therapist.

Consuming Information Isn’t the Same as Embodying Regulation

AI can absolutely give you ideas.

It suggests coping strategies.
It can help you reflect.
It can offer journaling prompts.
It can explain concepts about anxiety, trauma, or nervous system patterns.

And for many people, this is genuinely useful and exactly what they want from therapy.

But emotional healing isn’t primarily about information.

It’s about physiology.

Your nervous system changes through experience — not explanation alone.

This is where the difference becomes clear.

Therapy Is the Connection Between Two Nervous Systems — Not One and a Robot

One of the most important aspects of therapy is something people rarely talk about:

There is another regulated human nervous system in the room with you.

A grounded presence.
A steady voice.
A person tracking subtle shifts in your body, tone, and energy.

This is what your nervous system is constantly responding to.

Not just what the therapist is saying, but what you are feeling when you are with them.

This process — called co-regulation — is foundational to healing.

and AI cannot do this because AI does not have a nervous system. It is not alive.

Why Techniques Alone Aren’t Enough

Many therapeutic approaches — including EMDR therapy, somatic therapy and music–based approaches like Rest and Restore — work because they happen in a relational context.

The techniques matter.

But the presence matters just as much.

Most practitioners would agree that the presence of another matters even more.

A regulated therapist can help your system tolerate emotions, sensations, or memories that would feel overwhelming alone.

That safety is what allows change to occur, not the exercise itself.

AI Tends to Validate Whereas Therapy Sometimes Disrupts

Another important difference:

AI is designed to be agreeable.

It often mirrors your perspective.
It reinforces your interpretation.
It supports your conclusions.

A good therapist doesn’t always do that.

Therapists are trained to notice blind spots.
Patterns you may not see.
Protective strategies might not be serving you.

Sometimes growth requires gentle challenge, hearing something you weren’t expecting.

That kind of feedback is relational, nuanced, and moment-to-moment.

AI cannot fully replicate that.

The Strongest Predictor for Therapy to be Effective Is the Relationship

This isn’t about where your therapist went to school, what modalities they offer or how highly trained they are.

The strongest predictor for the effectiveness of therapy is the rapport, or the relationship, between therapist and client.

It’s about safety, trust, reliability and the ability to repair after ruptures occur.

Humans are wired for connection.

Our nervous systems develop in relationship — and they heal in relationship too.

A calm, attuned presence can signal safety to your physiology in ways words alone cannot.

That’s why people often feel different after therapy sessions even when they didn’t discuss anything dramatically new.

Their nervous system experienced something different.

In-Person Therapy in Carmel-by-the-Sea and Virtual Therapy Across California

I offer holistic therapy for women in Carmel-by-the-Sea, Monterey, Big Sur, Santa Cruz, and surrounding areas, as well as virtual sessions throughout California.

My work integrates EMDR, somatic therapy, and nervous system–based approaches to help women move out of chronic stress patterns and into greater regulation and ease.

You can learn more here.

Remember — AI is a great tool. But when it comes to deeper change, your nervous system may need something only another human can provide.

Disclaimer: This blog is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Results from therapy may vary. Ashley K. Whelan is a holistic psychotherapist in California offering EMDR, somatic therapy, and psychedelic integration for women seeking mind-body-spirit healing, with in-person sessions available in Carmel-by-the-Sea, Monterey, and Big Sur, and virtual therapy throughout California.