Why You Need a Big Picture Vision to Make Day-to-Day Decisions
Many women come into therapy feeling stuck in the same questions:
Should I stay where I live or move?
Is this career path right for me — or am I forcing it?
Should I stay in this relationship or leave?
Why does every decision feel so difficult?
When I ask what their big picture vision for their life is, they often go quiet.
“I’m not sure.”
“I’ve never really thought about it.”
“I don’t know if I can really have what I want.”
That’s at the heart of the struggle.
Without a big picture vision, every small decision becomes overwhelming — because there’s no internal compass guiding the way.
Why Day-to-Day Decisions Feel So Hard Without a Vision
When you don’t have a clear sense of where you’re going, your nervous system is forced to make decisions based on:
fear
urgency
other people’s expectations
survival mode
short-term relief instead of long-term alignment
So instead of choosing from clarity, you’re reacting from pressure.
Should you move?
Stay in the relationship?
Leave the job?
Say yes to the invitation?
Say no to the opportunity?
Without a larger vision, there’s no reference point.
Everything feels equally risky — and equally confusing.
Big Picture Vision Creates an Internal Compass
A big picture vision isn’t a rigid 10-year plan.
It’s a felt sense of the life you’re building — and who you’re actively becoming.
It answers questions like:
What kind of pace do I want for my day to day life?
Do I value stability or freedom more right now?
Do I want roots, community, creativity, leadership, solitude?
What kind of relationships nourish me?
What does “success” actually mean to me?
When this vision is clear, small decisions get simpler.
Instead of asking “What should I do?”
You’re checking in with yourself — “Does this move me closer to the life I’m creating — or further away from it?”
Why So Many Women Don’t Have a Vision Yet
Many women have never been given the space to imagine freely.
They were taught to:
be practical before being visionary
meet expectations before honoring desire
choose security over alignment
delay their dreams “until later”
prioritize others before themselves
So when they finally pause and ask, “What do I actually want?” There’s often… nothing there yet.
Not because the desire doesn’t exist — but because the nervous system hasn’t felt safe enough to imagine.
How the Nervous System Shapes Vision
A regulated nervous system makes it possible to think long-term.
A dysregulated nervous system focuses on:
immediate safety
immediate relief
immediate certainty
When you’re living in survival mode, it’s hard to access your future self.
This is why somatic therapy and EMDR are so powerful for women who feel lost or indecisive. We’re not just talking about choices — we’re creating the internal safety required to sense your future again.
EMDR therapy helps reprocess the experiences that taught your body it wasn’t safe to dream, plan, or trust yourself. As the nervous system settles, the vision naturally begins to emerge.
Not forced. Not intellectually manufactured.
Felt.
Vision Clarifies Everything: Where You Live, What You Do, Who You Keep Close
When your big picture vision becomes clearer, decisions start organizing themselves.
You begin to notice:
certain cities feel more aligned than others
some career paths energize you while others drain you
certain people support your growth while others keep you small
some relationships fit your future — others only fit your past
You stop asking, “Is this right?”
And start asking “Does this belong in the life I’m building?”
That shift changes everything.
You Don’t Need the Whole Map — Just the North Star
You don’t need every detail figured out.
You just need:
a direction
a felt sense of your becoming
a few non-negotiable values
a nervous system that trusts itself enough to listen
From there, the next right step becomes visible.
Support for Women Clarifying Their Direction
I work with women navigating big transitions who feel uncertain about:
where to live
what career paths to pursue or release
whether they’re truly ready for relationships again
how to stop second-guessing themselves
Through somatic therapy and EMDR, we don’t just analyze your choices — we help your body and nervous system reconnect to the future it already longs for.
I offer in-person sessions in Carmel-by-the-Sea and virtual therapy across California, including Santa Cruz, Monterey, Big Sur, and San Luis Obispo.
This blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading this post does not create a therapist–client relationship. If you are experiencing significant emotional distress, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional.
Disclaimer: This blog is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Results from therapy may vary. If you're experiencing mental health issues, consult with a licensed mental health provider near you. Ashley K. Whelan is a holistic psychotherapist in California offering EMDR, somatic therapy, and psychedelic integration for women seeking mind-body-spirit healing.