Is It Really ADHD — or is this a Byproduct of Chronic Stress in a Fast-Paced, Focus-Starved Society?
We live in a world that glorifies productivity and speed — where stillness is mistaken for laziness and constant stimulation is the norm.
In this environment, it’s no wonder so many women struggling to “keep up” with the ever-growing demands at work and home wonder if they have ADHD.
My response as a holistic therapist is always — maybe, let’s explore it more.
Because while I do believe neurodivergence exists and many people have a valid diagnosis of ADHD, I also know the impact of chronic stress on a nervous system — and it looks a lot like ADHD.
The Cost of Living in a Constant State of Stimulation
Every ping, scroll, and interruption keeps your body slightly on edge.
Over time, that low-level activation becomes your baseline — what many know as “functional stress.”
In that state, focus feels slippery. Tasks feel heavier than they should. Rest feels unsafe.
This is how the body learns to survive in a reactive world — by staying “on.” But what we often label as distractibility or inconsistency may actually be a nervous system doing its best to adapt to an unsustainable pace.
Stress, Not Shortcomings
When stress hormones stay elevated, the brain’s focus and planning centers take a back seat while the body prioritizes scanning for threat. This is ‘survival mode’ and it’s what our nervous systems were literally designed to do to help us find safety.
Today, this looks like:
Forgetfulness and mental fog
Emotional reactivity/difficulty regulating emotions under stress
Impulsivity + addictive behaviors
Inconsistent motivation
Difficulty completing tasks
These are real struggles — but they’re often rooted stress, not just a lack of willpower.
Beyond Labels: Understanding What’s Really Happening
Diagnosis can be validating — but it’s incomplete if we don’t address the physiology beneath it.
The goal isn’t to decide whether you “really” have ADHD. The goal is to understand how your system is wired right now, and what it needs to return to regulation.
That’s where holistic, body-based therapies create change.
Working With the Physiology of Attention
As a holistic psychotherapist in Carmel-by-the-Sea, I help creative, intuitive women work with their attention — not against it.
We use a combination of body-based tools that regulate the nervous system and build safety in presence:
EMDR — to reprocess the memories that taught your system it had to stay alert to be safe.
Somatic therapy — to anchor you in your body, making focus and rest feel possible again.
Safe and Sound/Rest & Restore Protocol — a nervous-system regulating listening therapy that helps calm stress responses, support vagal tone, and improve sustained attention.
When your nervous system can finally feel safe again, the quality of your thoughts will naturally follow.
Reclaiming Focus as a Nervous System Skill
Focus isn’t something you force — it’s something that emerges when your system feels safe enough to stay.
When the body slows down, attention returns.
When the mind quiets, creativity opens.
You don’t need more control. You need more connection — to yourself, your body, and your rhythm.
Now Offering In-Person Appointments in Carmel-by-the-Sea, California
In addition to virtual therapy across California, I now offer in-person sessions in Carmel-by-the-Sea. If you’re local to Monterey, Big Sur, or Santa Cruz, this is an opportunity to experience somatic and EMDR therapy in person — where the nervous system can settle even more deeply into safety and connection.
Disclaimer: This blog is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with a licensed provider near you for personalized support. Ashley K. Whelan is a holistic psychotherapist in California offering EMDR, somatic therapy, and psychedelic integration for women in Carmel By the Sea, Monterey, and Big Sur. Online sessions are available throughout the state of California.